hotel room ftw
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
