Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
