have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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