hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
