Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
