I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize