I'm drive I can fine osifer
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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