Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
