how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
