I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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