I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize