Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh god it's open bar.