my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.