I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
