Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.