omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
