so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
