And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
