Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize