Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
