lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
