Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
