put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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