He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
