i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
