I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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