If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
