please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
