Is it normal to miss your booty call?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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