I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
