So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
