i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
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Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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