Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
