Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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