Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
