when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize