so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
