I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize