That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
