then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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