Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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