So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
