i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
