He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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