Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So squirting runs in the family.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
