you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
