Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
