After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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