I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize