She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
