Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize