I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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