The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
