New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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