I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
