I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
