lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
