mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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