how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
