I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
