Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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