At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
