listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
