Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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