You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
